Have we lost trust in TRUST?

I have often wondered, has the world really progressed? To most of us, this question has an obvious answer and that’s a yes. Up until now, I also used to think the same but most recently I came across an incident which made me realize that progress has multiple dimensions. Which aspect of the progress are we talking about is an important question as well. While on the front of technology, science we have definitely progressed but in these scheme of things I think we have missed out a progress on developing human trust. Its almost like when a stranger says something, the 1^st response internally is most likely – no way, can’t be that, don’t believe you or some form of it. Most of our response has a negative tone to it although it could be expressed as a dis-belief or surprise or amazement. I think we need to differentiate between the core feeling and how we express it. Most people, I have seen, get confused between the two.

Anyway, it’s a pity that despite such long history of our existence, we have not been able to trust each other. Every time there is a financial transaction, we ask for receipts, contracts and what not. Documents like passport become your identity whereas the human him/herself becomes evidence. An alive man is not a proof of him being alive - thats ridiculous and scary. 

I acknowledge that any action human takes is on the basis of certain past learnings but then instead of investing so much time and money in developing in materialistic fields, why cant we spend 10% of that time and money on developing human trust for each other.

I don’t have an answer to how can we make it happen but a fact that if one can fall in love with another person still exists in our society, why cant the same feeling be expanded to humans in general? When you fall in love and ultimately marry the other person, it’s a leap of faith you take in a way that assures you within, that everything will be alright and in most cases it is. Then why cant we take the same leap of faith in trusting other humans?

To me, trust is a positive thing and believe me, world needs a lot of positivity now more than ever before. Just examine your personal life and see how trust plays a role in making things easier, simpler and stronger for you. Life is so much fun at home and you don’t need to worry about a lot of things because there is a trust in the people around you. We just need to get this same feeling out there and develop that trust.

Naturally, the other side of this coin is being able to elicit that trust from others. The answer to that is removing self-biased intentions which are subjective and be more objective in our interactions with others. Most of the time the objective is same but ways are different. As we get hung up on our idea, we fail to see the others’ idea and its merits. Collaboration and synergy only become words without actual behaviours behind them. I don’t understand the desperate need to prove ourselves right and if 2 ideas show equal merit, then there can be a way to choose which one to proceed with without having to fight over it. The whole point is once we give a pure thought and put pure efforts behind something, we should stop worrying about its existence in future. There is something called Destiny and if things are done with pure intentions, they take care of themselves. You become a channel of its existence from its creator. You support the idea and not the other way around. I think once we accept this role change of ours from creator to a channel, things like ego, fear of losing reputation will eventually die down and make you a more humble person and a more helpful person. And I believe humility, helpfulness will be able to elicit that trust from others.

The question remains: are you able to trust me and show willingness to accept that this is the need of this hour? Or will you go back to what you’ve been doing in the belief that one alone can’t make a change?  All big changes begin from one person, one moment and with one leap of faith. Are you brave enough to take that one leap of faith? The answer lies within you. If not others, Trust yourself...

A thought and a learning...

It’s that time of the year where in India, the wedding preparations in many homes would take a full swing with only a quarter of a year to go for the big fat Indian wedding season. It’s this period where you would see families rushing here and there for the final stretch. While some families would have it all figured out, some would still be making their final calls. Given the grandiose nature of Indian weddings and the amount of organization dexterity it requires, it’s not hard to imagine that at these times, if the couple getting married is extremely busy in deciding what they want to wear, how they want to look, how they want the things to be on the D-day while spending these some final moments knowing the person more and better to whom they are going to commit themselves for the whole life may take a back seat. Some may argue that the commitment and knowing the other person would have happened long time back when they first got engaged then why think now? Well, you know how life is, it changes, people change, their behaviors change, for good or for bad but it changes. And in the bigger scheme of things, we miss to realize these small gradual changes. The initial rosy meetings, those initial moments however romantic they were, do reflect some kind of an effort, honest or otherwise, on the part of both the guy and the girl. Slowly, as the feeling that you are with someone sinks in, you either change yourself or your true comfort zone comes out. Some of those little significant things you did for making the other person feel good about you starts to become a task. You may itch for a break from something that has become a routine now. Not that its bad, you obviously want to be true to yourself as much as possible and be sane but at the same time don’t want your flaws to move you away from the person you’ve come to love since that first spark. It’s that point in your life where the connect is still there but may be its taken away that time away from you which you spent on your own and may be you have not got used to this change just yet. I know the brides and grooms know each other well and probably still do so each day hopefully. But if you ask them what they have learned new about their partner today, they may find hard to articulate it but the moment you ask them what’s happening on the preparations, they will go on about it for next 30 mins. It’s funny to me. I don’t say I behaved differently though, but that’s our culture you see. Marriages in India are big, are like a festival. Yes, sure they are but should they happen at the cost of diverting your time and energy to something that’s going to last one day? Or should you rather have that time and energy spend on knowing the other person better which is going to impact you your whole life? If you were to mask this situation and remove marriage out of it and instead say it’s an investment for the whole life where there is most likely no backing out and ask any sane person to choose, he or she is likely to choose the 2nd option. Think about it. I am confused by the way our society works. I wish things were simpler and may be more focused on couple getting married vs. focusing on looking & behaving like celebrities and calling 1000+ folks to your wedding, 75% of whom you have never met before and are sure to never meet again in this lifetime.

Anyway, given this situation which our culture and we put ourselves in; it’s bound to create some tough situations after marriage. Not saying that if you had known person for like a decade then such situations won’t come up. They still would and there is no escape from this – we all know it and this conflict is an integral part of human nature. In fact, these situations may also happen before marriage. However, the focus should then be on how can you minimize them and keep them at a level that does not destroy your happiness? What Archita and I have learned so far is that in these situations, we ought to remember that we have married a human being. A human who is same as us, who is as fallible and flawed as us. Their faults could be different than ours but they are still faults. Don’t expect the other person to always understand you and don’t doubt his or her intentions. Have a discussion and don’t let it turn into an argument. Remember, you are also in this as much as he or she is. However, simple this may sound; you will still fail to see it that way once the situation comes to your own door (ask me about it :)). The best thing to do in these situations is to be objective and behave without any bias. Ego has no place in the marriage but at the same time it does not cost you your self-identity. No situation and no person will ask for a change in your identity as asking about it would mean they want to change your true nature. The same nature that made them fall in love with you and commit them to you. Unless, you have painted a completely different picture and set different expectations then no one can save you.


So, apart from investing time in knowing the other person more and better, the critical piece is being true to yourselves and to the other person right from the beginning all the way through and at the same time making flexibility (not same as compromise) a part of your efforts to grow together in the relationship. Keep calm and leave the rest to your karma.

No Hiatus anymore

It’s been a hiatus of 2.5 years since I last wrote on this blog. A lot has happened in these months, a lot has been learnt, and a lot has been experienced. Never been in a relationship before, I found myself in an unknown world – a world which demanded my undivided attention, a world which made me feel like a toddler again, a world which showed me a completely different aspect of life. I would not be honest if I said I did not have a good personal life before – yes there were friends, cousins and family events. As much as I loved all of them, there was something amiss. One part of me always felt incomplete and lacked something. When my friends, cousins discussed about the dynamics of an intimate relationship, my views and opinions, although real, lacked a backing of a first-hand experience. I have always felt strongly about what I say and believe in it whole-heartedly but one thing that always gave me that resolute was personal experience. This personal experience was not there when it came to life-partner sort of relationships.

As a student of life, I missed out on seeing a world where the actual balance of life comes into play. At a stage of life, when I was doing well professionally and when I was ready to embrace a personal change, Archita came into my life. We have been together since Jan 2012 and 1 year into marriage, I must say that I now understand some of the things, good and otherwise, I heard about intimate relationships. I now understand why some relationships succeed and why they fail. As a principle of life, I have always been open to anything new that comes my way – not that I don’t have any idea about it, but I don’t have pre-conceived notions either. I take it as it comes; adapt myself as per the need and make the best of it. Following the same, I entered into this new world. Being the person I am, I always need some goal – some kind of timeline and I must say this runs into the genes of my family. First thing, we as a family did was to start planning the wedding, the when, the where and the how and it had been just 20 days so far that I had known Archita. Thinking retrospectively, it may seem a bit scary that knowing someone for just 20 days and we were already in the middle of committing each other for life. If I were a person with some experience in this, I would have been a lot scared and completely deny taking this step but incidentally, I was not. May be there was some astronomic connect or some strings the Almighty pulled that we all were moving ahead without an iota of doubt. May be that’s how arranged marriages work, I thought to myself. 29^th Jan 2012 was the day when both families committed to this arrangement and much to the surprise of all who know me; I was not around that day. I chose to give only virtual presence to the entire ceremony through Skype and much to her disappointment; Archita had to begin representing the both of us socially from that day onwards. Not that I did not want to be there but I wanted to avoid going to Mumbai only for a weekend when I had just came back from a good 2 weeks break and resumed work. If I think back now, may be that comfort of not being there physically and still both families and Archita taking that step without hesitation was something that gave me confidence and belief that this relationship has a potential to be committed to. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I was willing to risk this big step on my 26^th birthday. Anyway, things began for us from thereon. We had chats during the day on whatsapp and then Skype in the eves – compensating for my over-working nature, time difference worked in our favor as by the time my work day ended, her work day ended as well. Initially, I had to make special efforts to talk and interact with her as it was not my usual routine so to say. But as days passed by, I began looking forward to the Skype calls and drew myself away from my usual plans. I remember spending hours and hours over the weekends watching the English TV series I was addicted to but all those hours had come down to a minimal level since we began to start knowing each other through virtual medium. With all these interactions and the emotional connect arising from thereon, I think I wanted my trip in India in May 2012 to go on forever – just felt that time should stop by for once. I had a fantastic time in that trip, stayed with her for almost all days travelling in Mumbai and Gujarat, meeting all the closed family members and friends – our first memory, our first public appearances. Months passed by immersing ourselves in the preparations for the wedding, it was almost like a project – coordinating travel for 150 odd people from Mumbai to Surat, booking tickets, budgeting, planning the events, choosing what to wear and all that comes-in with an usual Indian wedding. My being in Singapore did not really hinter the way the plans were executed much to the help of some awesome friends, a superb brother (may I be I will write about him someday) and obviously Archita – she just impressed with how she had already emotionally married me – making my plans as our plans and making everything under my responsibilities as hers. I can’t thank her enough for that gesture and her family’s efforts in really fading away that line of what a family’s responsibilities are when it comes to an arranged marriage situation. May be I had come misconceptions about arranged marriages but then may be those were just misconceptions which got cleared away one by one. May be that’s the reason I was willing to go a bit overboard with having a reception the same day – I was against it, I did not want to have that purely from cost standpoint but then eventually I went along with that idea considering that Archita’s family and Archita wanted to have it. The wedding made me realize quite a few dreams I had and I remember discussing some of them with my close friends. Now when I look back, I really don’t remember planning to achieve them but the way things had gone in my life from 2011 onwards eventually helped in achieving those hidden dreams. I would not say it was a big fat Indian wedding – we did not aim it to be one, we wanted a wedding which reflects who I am and who my partner is. It is the way we wanted to be and after discussing with Archita during and after the wedding, it looks like we just had that – our wedding, our way.  

Since the wedding, we have had a whole new life, both Archita and me. We have both realized how different the virtual connect is from the real world interactions. Nevertheless, one year of the journey together has given both us that hope, that much required boost, that missing piece to see life till the very end of it with a feeling of being complete within…

This has not come with so much ease as one would want to be and neither has it come at the expense of being happy. But more on my experience from the maiden year of our marriage in my next post…

2.5 months and beyond...

It has been 2.5 months now since I moved from India to Singapore. When I first came to know that Life has presented me an opportunity to move away from my home, various thoughts ran across my mind – all offering me different perspectives concerning my personal life, my family, my friends, my marriage plans and my professional life. The thought or a perspective that made me take the decision of taking this up was to experience this phase of moving away from home, from my comfort zone, from a dependent life to something which puts me through situations testing my patience, questioning my resolute to manage my life, challenging my determination to live life the way I want to, asking me if I can lead an independent life and evaluating if I am ready to take on life & manage my family in times coming ahead.

When the first thought of getting married ran across my mind half a year back or so, I asked myself how can I let an important person about to come in my life be partially (partial because women today are more independent than ever) dependent on me when I don’t know whether I can depend on myself? How can I take the partial responsibility of another person when I don’t know if I am capable of taking my own? How can I help manage her life, her issues and her situations when I don’t know if I can manage my own? Though I agree and believe that life is much livelier and blissful than to worry about these odd problems. But, then Life is quite uncertain and it’s in best interest of an individual to be prepared for worse happenings in life. After seeing and going through the past decade, I firmly believe the fact that anything, good or bad, can happen in this damn world.

So, here I am 2.5 months into this experience sitting on my bed thinking about it. These months have been busy to have not given me a moment to sit and think if the perspective with which I took this decision, is proving its worth. Am I worth going through this phase? Am I making myself ready to take on life ahead? Now is the time to think I say to myself.

I would not say I am 100% ready to take the next step but am definitely going in the right direction. That’s a good news. Thinking about these 2.5 months, it has made me see a few things not seen before, taught me a things which I never knew I would need to learn and gave me more insights into what kind of a person I am. It has made me realize some new talents I possess, some more imperfections that I have and has taught me how to praise yourself when I do something good for myself and how to rebuke myself when I know I could have done better. These observations for me are as minor as sleeping on time or waking up on time and as big as buying necessities for myself, cooking for myself or even ironing my clothes (this is most painful). Some may argue that how can sleep on time or ironing can be indicators of whether someone is going in the right direction or not? I would say – Why not? I mean those are the indicators as knowledge, balance and perfection in these minor things that impact our daily lives lead to our desire of being perfect in things which has larger impact on life.

Consider this, generation today rightly considers Men and Women to be on par. I respect this sentiment and believe in it. As we all know gone are those days when women in the house used to clean utensils, cooked for the family and managed household. Now, everything is balanced by both husband and wife. Today, men are expected to know atleast the basic household stuff and rightly so. So, when I say I am making myself aware, knowledgeable and balancing myself in doing these activities, I am somewhere getting ready to take the next step. These minor things instill discipline in life when it requires one.

Though I would not say I am ‘Sanjeev Kapoor or even close to being 1/10th of him’ when it comes to cooking, but I can definitely make myself breakfast, tea, coffee and am trying to make myself lunch and dinner too (Today I cooked khichdi for myself – it was not a bad attempt at all). I am definitely punctual when it comes to making things happen at the right time (this one I am happy about – because back in India, I was known to be punctual and when I came here, I needed to prove to myself that I can be punctual here too even if I have to do many more things than earlier to be on time). It has become a habit now. I do not iron my clothes like it may have come from a 5 star laundry but am sure you would not see a crease in the trousers I wear and this is something just like cooking which improves over time and am sure it will one day look like coming from a 5 star laundry.

It may happen that when something new comes in life, it replaces or deletes something old. But, doing all these tasks and trying to do them perfectly has not made me sacrifice any of my previous habits like reading or writing. I would say 24 hours are as long as you want them to be. I am resting more than ever on weekends, play badminton every Sunday morning and roam around to explore the place.

All in all, this experience has proved to be worthwhile until now. I know many of my friends have gone through this similar phase in past 3-4 years and I just want to say that I was proud of them and now going through a similar experience myself – I am even more proud of them. They would know I am talking about them when they read this.

Not that only people who stay away from home can learn these things, some people do learn it while being in their home as well and this happens when a balanced mind who has gone through this earlier in his/her life passes on this knowledge to his/her next generation. I know of one such family and am happy to have known them, being with them and learned from them. So, having gone through this, I will ensure my kid(s) know what it means to lead an independent life and make them prepared for it while they still stay in their home.

Next update on this would be when I complete half year here. Adios.

Take care and Keep smiling   

Self-Acceptance

Humans have been living in groups since the time we have known to be existed on this planet. The importance of living in groups has been so much dominant in nature that all our older customs, traditions, rites and rituals have been governed around the fact of being accepted by a group of people who lived around us. But as human race progressed, the rituals and rites started getting challenged by few individuals who thought that these made no logical and human sense. Despite the efforts to abolish them have been successful, but I think the underlying reason of getting accepted by a group which caused those rituals to exist in the very first place is still there. It is just that the means of demonstrating that reason has changed today. Now, it has taken the form of being accepted in high-society parties, recognized by elite group of individuals etc.

I do not say that getting accepted by a group is not important; obviously it is. But, is that acceptance higher than self-acceptance? I do not think so.

What I have been observing since quite some time now is that getting accepted by a group is knowingly or unknowingly taking higher precedence over self-acceptance. Now, this as per me is not only wrong but also dangerous for the person exhibiting this behaviour. This is because a person who gives importance of getting accepted by others over self-acceptance often loses his/her self-identity. There are situations which often makes him/her stand in that grey area where his/her actual desire is not fulfilled because a group around expects something else.

Now, the situation worsens when there are 2 different groups present in the same situation with the person himself/herself and both the groups think in different directions, behave differently and expect different behaviour from the person under consideration. In fact, if we think to ourselves, how many times have we encountered in our lives that a group of friends expect something while our parents, relatives expect something else. And while we know our family comes first than friends, we still behave otherwise. Here, one would argue that this is a matter of just a wish and a generation gap, but then if we think more on this, we would realize that it is actually more than that. It is a matter of putting ourselves so very clear right from the start that the group around knows how are we going to behave in a given situation which would ultimately subside the expectations that people might have with us. And putting ourselves very clear from the right would mean to accept ourselves as we are, accept what we actually want and act on it. Obviously, there are certain wants which are not socially acceptable and hence in those cases we should choose to go by the social norms set. But, being human and considering completely rationale behaviour that we may demonstrate; self-acceptance is bound to make life much easier for all of us.

Self-acceptance by no means is an easy process as it requires breaking certain beliefs that we have built over the years, beliefs that success comes to us when a group around us believes it, beliefs that happiness is the one which makes majority of the people around us smile; but instead success can be realized even when our own heart thinks we are, happiness can be the one which brings smile even on one face. Likewise, there are many beliefs we have built over the years which are directly or indirectly governed by giving more importance to the group-acceptance philosophy rather than giving self-acceptance philosophy its due importance prior to group-acceptance philosophy.

Self-acceptance does not end by accepting self; it extends to accepting how others are as they are. At this moment what I can clearly remember is what one of my good friends PS, an active AOL student, said “Accepting others what they are and how they behave with you makes oneself free of all hatred and grudges which may sub-consciously get registered in our hearts. Often, when we have something in mind which we have not accepted, it leads to feeling of negativity and makes us non-receptive to other fresh ideas and positive things around us as the limited space inside us is still occupied by thoughts and feelings which are negative and doing no good to us”. What she meant to say, which I realize is that, we cannot change people how they are and the way they behave with us but what we can definitely change is our attitude towards people which should be of accepting them as they are rather than keeping in our minds about how they should not have behaved. And if I have to put my personal experience at play, I can cite an instance where I myself after having fallen prey to group-acceptance philosophy have recovered by going the self-acceptance philosophy way. And since then, my life has been much easier.

Don’t believe me? Just seat back and imagine for a moment, we are in a society where we have around us; the people against whom we have no grudges, no ill-feelings, no inhibition within ourselves as to how we should behave but instead what we are doing is just being ourselves. Would not be our life easier then?

A New Phase begins….

Life for all of us can be divided in phases with each phase having different things in store for us. With the end of every phase, there is a hope for a better new phase. We all set out to experience that with certain expectations and certain rules that we decide within ourselves to follow in this new phase. May it be going from school to Junior college, JC to Graduate, Graduate to Post-Graduate and finally from PG to Work Life.

Whatever mistakes we make in last phase, we learn from it so we don’t repeat it and all successes in last phase help us improve the strengths and this collective (a mixed bag of) experiences help us make our new phase a better one. Till the time we reach Post-Graduate phase, we always are in a secured environment, secured by our parents, our friends, our teachers and most importantly controls designed by the authorities that help us not to deviate from our limits.

But, then comes a phase of corporate life, which by almost every mean is a different and unique in regards to what it has to offer us. Though parents are always there, but they do not have that direct an influence over the behavior of external factors. Same is the case with our friends, here they are replaced by colleagues or work associates if I may use the sophisticated term who in an indirect manner are positive competitors. There are no teachers; there are seniors, managers, Directors and VPs. Though the role they play is similar to teachers; something that is very important to determine how you will perform in your corporate life.

But, very often there are not those controls on how will you deal with a business situation. Everything here is left to our capabilities and abilities to think & execute differently. We don’t know your limits and we come to know about them when we cross them. While in our earlier phases; there were KT exams or a chance to appear again, they are a rare case when it comes to corporate. In today’s competitive world, businesses can’t take chances with under-performers and there is no just passing marks scenario here. We are either average to top performer or a failure and fired.

Keeping this in mind, this phase brings in a lot of anxiety, some expectations that we have from ourselves because of successes in our past phases, some “look-out for potholes” that we get to hear as an advice from our well wishers all around. This anxiousness, expectation, emotions running across, thoughts in the mind and all that make us impulsive at times which may not be the best solution to the issues because what is more important is “Finding a solution to the problem and not just answering the question” and it is not about finding “Who is right?” but the real success is to find “What is right?” and in the search of this, we reach excellence which matters more than anything else.

So, what I am trying to say to myself and to all my fellow friends, classmates and colleagues is that Life is not going to be as rosy as it was till now and now is the time to be the “Hero”. Leading student councils and being a team player till now is obviously a learning experience in itself, but the real application of what we learned till now is NOW. Some of us may have never been a part of any councils or committees but still can be top leaders of future while some of us who may have been can never guarantee their success ahead. So, in this uncertain yet exciting phase what matters is how positive, calm and dynamic we are when a situation or an issue confronts us.

So, folks let us all stay positive, keep it cool and be as dynamic as we can as this new phase begins so that we can be the Hero/Heroine of our real lives.

Take care & Keep Smiling !!!

Experience It

When I was a kid, I used to be very choosy about vegetables I ate; My Mom then told me how can you not like a particular vegetable when you have not tried it even once? (I am sure many people reading this are able to somewhere link with either themselves or have seen someone doing this). I neither listened to her then nor do I follow that now when it comes to vegetables or food in general. But somehow deep within I knew, she was right and may be that is the reason I have developed this mentality to “Experience a thing to comment on anything that I encounter everyday in my life.”

One of things that I have been observing day in and day out with people is the critic approach they all try to take toward anything and everything; may it be lectures, professors, colleges, meetings, projects, companies, people etc.

A dialogue between me and one of my friends goes as follows:

Friend: Hey I am not going to attend that new sessions that college has arranged for us..

Me: Why not?

Friend: It will be the same old gyaan that they will give, and I don’t find much value in it..

Me: Have you sat for this session somewhere sometime before?

Friend: No, I have not sat but I just don’t want to attend it either.

Me: Why?

Friend: Chuck na..

From this dialogue I can make out that my friend with no solid logic feels (not thinks) it’s a waste of his/her 2 days of life attending something which he/she thinks is not going to help him/her get through placements but just another farce much like other initiatives which have failed or did not leave up to his/her expectations. The key thing I thought here was that my friend considered it was a waste of time whereas I consider it as an investment of time. (Folks lose their money in share market and call it investment went bad, they never say they wasted money so why is it different when it comes to time? Perhaps a question that we all need to ask ourselves). Secondly, if 99 initiatives fail, that does not mean 100^th one will also fail. The 100^th one might be that breakthrough event which you have been looking for all your life.

An example comes to my mind is:

A company in finance field came with a marketing profile for executive placements to our college, which many people thought would be same as offered by other companies that came on campus earlier and considered those profiles as not attractive. So, this time people did not bother to sit even for the Pre-Placement Talk (PPT) of this company where details of profiles are shared by the company with the candidates. It turned out to be a rocking profile having great things to offer to candidate who got through it. What happened here is exactly the same thing which I have been observing, forming opinions on the past failures but gone wrong in interpretation, which according to me is pessimistic view of life. Though failures help us learn from our mistakes but those lessons are from the mistakes done by us, something which is an internal factor. We just can’t form an opinion on external factors as they are out of our control. Our reactions to them are what we can control and something which we can opine about, so in this case if after attending PPT (External factor), people decide to move out or stay in (Internal Factor) is a fair call to take. So, not attending PPT (External factor) was the mistake people made and may be missed out on a decent opportunity. What I liked more about the candidate who got through is that he/she did not fall into the trap of a situation which I am talking about.

Leaving that aside, what happens in majority of the other cases is, people form opinions on the basis ofothers opinions. “I did not do a particular thing because my friend who did the same thing earlier did not like it, so I would also not like it.” This is the reason people give when I ask them about it. We all know that all humans are unique in the way we think, react, respond, judge, emote etc. Though opinions might come out to be same when you go through that particular thing, but how can we possibly form opinions without going through that experience? Often my friends ask me why you were silent when we were discussing that topic; I say “I can’t comment because I have not gone through that experience which gives me food for thought to comment on it.” My belief is that an experience of going through a particular thing gives you food for thought to comment on it, suggest improvements on it etc. (The main difference between a movie critic and normal public is, critic comments after he/she watches the movie while we normal public comment even before watching it and perhaps not even watching it ever).

The reason I think this mentality of commenting without experiencing is bad because tomorrow we all are going to work in an environment which is challenging, thought-provoking and would require our thought processes to have rationale behind each and every decision we make. If our opinions continue to be based on others or external factors of a situation, then there would be no innovation and no uniqueness which would set us apart from rest.

Currently, I am reading a book “The Execution” in which authors state that (Not a verbatim) “Having a strategy is not enough, it is successful when leaders suggesting strategy knows how that strategy will be executed because ultimately strategies are meant to be executed in real world. If strategy requires a company to have these many rupees, these many workers, these capabilities and if all these are not present, then how will the strategy be executed? The reason why we have Great companies and poor companies is the difference in execution-based thinking. In great companies, leaders suggesting strategy, know in details how a particular step would work in what conditions and what will be the competitive edge we will get by doing that step. Everything in details is fixed in leaders mind. The reason he/ she can do that is that he/she has gone through doing that himself/herself or observed on field how will that be done with the help of experts. So, while Strategy is important to have, executing-based thought process while designing that strategy is also important and this can happen only after strategist has an experience of how things get done.”

So what I am trying to say is that though the mentality of “commenting on something without experiencing it” has smaller implication now because it does not affect us that much, but after reading this book, I have strengthened my belief that it will definitely have larger than life impact when we go out there are in corporate. We are what we develop ourselves right from our birth. What we are today is because of our thoughts and actions in past. So, what will we be tomorrow is the result of what we think and do today.

The edge that we get by experiencing something and then commenting is that even if we are challenged on our opinions, our thoughts, our emotions, we can justify them through the thought process on the basis of which we have arrived at certain conclusions or formed opinions. Another analogy that comes to mind is the day to day presentations, projects and assignments that we present to professors. If we don’t experience it, our views will be challenged and most of the times, we are screwed by professors (or an expert in that field) or colleagues who are allowed to ask questions and raise an objection to the point we are making in the presentation. While those who have experienced a project, will always be happy to answer questions and handle objections positively (By Experiencing a project I mean Living with it and attaching yourself with it, speaking about it, singing it, dancing it, eating it, drinking it, sleeping with its thoughts in mind, feeling it). This is a differentiating factor.

Just as such experiences occur every day in a student’s life, it is just our attitude to observe and learn from it, which I think will take us to next level and prepare us for bigger and tougher challenges that come as we move ahead on our journey of success.

So, those who already are “Experiencing It before commenting”, kudos to you all and those who don’t have it; might agree or disagree with this, but to disagree, you will have to “Experience it” and those who agree, please start “Experiencing it”.

Take Care and Keep Smiling.

Goals and Me

The other day I read in a book of Consumer Behaviour "Humans form a substitute Goal when they fail to achieve their primary goal and if they continously fail to achieve their desired primay goal then the substitute Goal takes the status of their primary goal and becomes a primary goal itself."

And if you ask me, I have experienced this behaviour since I was a child.

As a kid I was shy and wished to do what my friends did. But in order to do so I needed right set of perfect circumstances. Unfortunately or Fortunately, things did not happen the way I wished them to be. While my friends had an automatic compass box, I settled down with a normal one, while other friends went to hill stations with their families in vacations, I used to be at home getting bored, while my friends in school used to throw birthday party (parents organize it) at amusement parks or hotels every year, I used to celebrate my birthday once in 3-4 years by calling my friends at home. So, at every stage of Life, there had been a compromise on my primary goal, however small that goal may be. This led me to believe in the fact that I need to adjust and have expectations as per my potential & capacity.

As I grew up, I wished to become a Heart Surgeon and in pursuit of that dream I slogged, studied day in and day out but unfortunately when the moment came, I just had marks but no money due to circumstances around. Again a Goal was compromised and in hope of better tomorrow, I took up engineering as I had no other option in front of me then. This Goal compromise was a major setback in my life and it impacted my life at engineering too.

But then I realized that somethings thats gone cant be brought back and in regret of that I keep worrying on it, it will just make my life worst from worse. So, then deep within me an awakening took place which made me form a (Substitute) Goal; of being the best in what I do in Engineering. Knowing that what Goal Failure means, always helped me to get back my lost focus, lost concentration and lost energy in order to achieve the new goal that I set for myself. I never looked back since then on my academics. But again, Engineering ke bhi kuch apne hi funde hote hai, academics toh thik hai but to be unique from the crowd, U need to do something extra and that something extra was an opportunity with CSI and being a part of it. With the help of lovely friends, that happened too and gave my life a new meaning.

During the same time, a new Goal was born, I may call it a primary one in relation to my new life, to be an MBA from one of the IIMs. I did all that I could do to be there but I failed, took up a job to support a living and tried again, failed again. As pressures form environment increased, I succumbed to it and compromised on that primary Goal. This time the compromise was a less harsh as I had been a failure in 50% of it and that was no admit to IIMs, while I still managed to go to a B-School. Though I have no regrets for being in WE School, but an experience in IIMs would have been different altogether.

22nd September 2008, a new (Substitute) goal was born, to be recruited by A C Nielsen Bases. And again knowing what a failure means; my belief, my focus, my concentration and all my actions strengthened towards achieving that. And as life may have it in store, 14th October 2009, they came for campus recruitment, 28th October 2009 they interviewed me and 14th November 2009, I hear the news that I have achieved it. It was a dream come true experience.

Now, if I look at my life, I always failed to achieve my primary goals while the failures led me to achieve my substitute goals. And this has led me to think that what will happen to my next primary goal to become an Entrepreneur? Will it die like my other primary goals or will it be achieved? Will Life again decide what I should get or Will I be the one dictating terms this time?

I have these questions in mind but having gone through so much in last 20 years or so, I have realised one thing for sure that If I think it will happen, it will surely happen. So, today am erasing those questions from my mind by completely forgetting primary - substitute goal relationship in my life and focus all my efforts towards achieving my next primary goal of being an Entrepreneur.

It will now not depend on how life takes me, it will be other way round this time. I can & I will. Lets see !!!

Cool

I think thats cool...

Don't work, its all fun...

I read on a cover page of a book "I never did a day's work in my life, it was all fun" - Edison

Well, that quote definitely pushed me to think what it meant and this quote is so relevant today. I mean we all live in a fast paced life, work round the clock and still end up missing deadlines and miss our targets.

But while on the other hand we observe certain people who are right on time to complete all things on time and reach their targets. Why does that happen? The answer is in the quote.

We don't miss deadlines because we are not experts or skilled to do the work we are assigned, we all have the capabilities to do whatever is assigned to us (that is the reason its assigned to us), but what gets us into the trouble is our own lack of interest in that work. We tend to treat it as work and psychologically we start associating it to stress. For all of us, we have started taking that work means stress and meeting deadlines. But that is not the case, it means fun, learning and a sense of accomplishment that comes out of that work. And if we observe further, the people who win and actually meet deadlines are the ones that treat the work as it should be. I mean for them, the primary goal is fun, learning and a sense of accomplishment while the other materialistic result is a by-product by itself. Its like "Chase the excellence, success will follow" and for them Excellence is fun, learning and a sense of accomplishment.

We see many people who are at wrong places and at wrong times but then i can bet that if these people make this attitude change towards work, they will be the right people at the right time and in the right place. Struggle is a part and parcel of our life, take it as a step to success then to consider it as a hurdle.

So, as per me, what all of us should do is, to love the work we do. I know there are times where the work may not be as fun as the other things we do, but then the challenge lies in making that work also an exciting one as other things. As we all know "Winners don't do different things, they do things differently" and that makes them winners.

I have observed that this phenomenon works and believe me friends, when this works there is nothing stopping you to achieve what you want.

Friends, we all are at that phase of our where our entire life depends on what actions we take now and if we misunderstand or misinterpret it, we are royally screwed up. Remember one thing, don't think this decision of your life as just another thing that has come up with a deadline, treat it as the decision which you will take now to enjoy rest of your life. Treat it as the work that you will do now whose results will benefit you for all your life.

So, no need to work friends, its all fun....

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

The last book i read "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" and believe me i was bowled over by the book not because of the way in which the stories are presented in the book but because of the stories themselves. Though all guys mentioned in the book had an IIM-A tag but then not everyone at IIMs becomes an entrepreneur. It definitely required all what it takes to be where they all are right now.

Initially, when i read few stories, i said to myself that these students from IIM-A have contacts, have relevant exposure as they get that kind of opportunities, so i did not think it is as a big deal for them to become an entrepreneur. But, i pondered over my conclusion and thought to read it all over again without any bias. And then was the time i realised that having contacts, having exposure is all fine, everyone at IIMs get it but the thing that these ppl set them apart from rest were all those intangible qualitites that human cultivates within as he grows, we may call it passion, dedication, determination etc, etc. I mean all these qualities will not be taught by anyone in the world, it has to be self-cultivated, self-driven.

So, this led me to think that if being passionate and being self-motivated is not driven by any institutional input, then even me a non-IIM-B-school student can have it. Even you who are reading this blog can have it. Anyone can have it. I do not say that the exposure and opportunities are not important, they are of help but they cant be determining factors for success. In fact with intangible qualities, an average person can get that relevant experience needed without being into IIMs. There are chances that an IIM Graduate can fail in life while a mediocre or an average B-School graduate can be a sucessful person in life.

So, i believe that all those intangibles required to make it to the top are within us and only we can search it and make use of it to the fullest. And when i look at the book cover again, i do not now relate it stories of 25 IIM-A grads but i relate it to them as stories of passionate individuals. Because that hunger did not come since they studied at IIM-A, that hunger was because of their passion for what they wanted to do and they transformed their wants into their needs through determination, dedication, sacrifice, hard-work etc. and thats what made them foolish.

So, i say to all budding entrepreneurs: We all will make it one day just keep that hunger alive within us, keep building up our plan ahead, work on it, implement it in right attitude and with right frame of mind and we shall also be one of those success stories.

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish !!!

THE KICK

The other day in a lecture of Perspective Management, there was a question raised by our College Dean that "What is it that gives an immense positive energy, enthusiasm for all successful people to keep on performing, to keep stretching themselves to the endless limits?" Well, he said it is the KICK -- a push from within to do what is impossible as per ones boundaries, -- a force from within that motivates one to achieve the hardest of goals in ones life...

Pondering over the same line of thought (in the lecture and even after it), i found i had already experienced that phenomenon, that thought process, that push, that force from within and i was so much elated to know that i had experienced it without even knowing about it.

It was during my early engineering days, when i was forced circumstantially to choose Engineering over Medical due to financial problems prevaling at that time in my family. It was hard for me to accept the fact that i am doing something for which i was never prepared for. It was something within me, my soul, that was not satisified with what i was forced to do. And that caused irritation, frustation, zero concentration, low patience & all that things that sub-consciously hampered my growth as a human and as a student. 1st semester was over, results were out and obviously i fared "worse" not only "bad". 2nd sem came, due to humiliation that i suffered from my 1st sem results, i thought i should concentrate and study hard, but the sub-conscious mind being the ruler of the body, mind and soul, i just could not do anything to fare better and as it was expected out of me that time, i fared "worst"in my life so far...

By now, a year of engineering (25% of it ) was over and amongst the croud of elite people around me, I stood last. But, the fact that hurt me more was that i was a failure within myself, that i was a looser when it comes to fighting unpredictably difficult situations in life. It took me a week to understand that a situation that got my life in worse scenario was nothing as compared to the activities i was doing to make it just worst. Much unknown to me, but this self-realization gave me that push, that force from within to surpass all limits, all boundaries and come out as winner. It was "The KICK" which I define as "A Knock from InnerSelf that Causes Kainogenesis" Kainogenesis means
(a) introduction during embryonic development of characters or structure not present in the earlier evolutionary history of the strain or species (as addition of the placenta in mammalian evolution).
(b) the process of an individual organism growing organically; a purely biological unfolding of events involved in an organism changing gradually from a simple to a more complex level.
Similarly, from my definitions poit of view, "Kainogenesis means a process within ones self that creates a kind of energy which has capability to take oneself beyond expectations, to surpass all boundaries & to achieve all that one aims for."

Coming back to my life scenario then,

I realized that in order to do what i never thought of doing, it will take something that is invaluable to me, and I was prepared for it. I gave all that it took from me to achieve what i wanted. I sacrificed all that was entertaining to me but had no contribution to my life as a Good Student. I was much tensed for my results as i did not know that the path i chose was for myself to be successful would indeed yield expected results or not, but it was to my immense pleaseure got to know that i have fared well and was 5th in my class in 3rd sem.

But, wait folks, the Magic begins now, The Kick that I am discussing about is not limited here, that Kick is very greedy, it motivates you to surpass your ownself. The same happened with me, i was happy but not satisfied. The Kick within me (like an old wine) increased its intensity and motivated to perform even better. I stood 2nd in class in 4th sem, and was overall 2nd as well in 2nd year. Same happened in 3rd year as well. I ranked 2nd.

Now another dimension comes, the Kick not only motivates you in 1 direction, it brings about overall development in an individual experiencing that kick. Same happened with me... I actively took part in CSI's activities in college and was one day given the post of DJ-CSI, Vice-Charperson of 2005-06.

The Kick was so effective that i Topped my class in final year (Academic Kick) and was also an active member of CSI's Annual Regional Convention - Innovate'06 (Extra-Curricular Kick).

So, what happened simultaneously in my Life was, that i kept performing better and better academically and i kept rising in positions of extra-curricular importance. That Kick had so many effects on my life that i do not even realize it now, it is something that has become an integral part of myself.

It is much obvious to say that, what i am today is because of that Kick and now even if I try to remove or detach it from myself, i would not be able to and how can it be possible anyways? I just cant because ultimately, it is "A Knock from my InnerSelf that Caused my Kainogenesis" !!!

LIFE = ROLES

The other day i saw one of my friends ( Ms. D V ) Blog titled "LIFE = ROLES", i was much amused to see what it meant and it meant Race, Opportunities, Love, Experience, Success...
I, then, pondered that the connection between Life and Roles is much deeper than what it seems to, it also means, Life at different points in time gives us different Roles to play and whether we like it or not, we have to play them. Some Roles are those we choose for ourselves, some Roles come to us as obligation out of morality or responsibility while some are just thrown upon us. So, what did my friend think when she came to this conclusion of "LIFE = ROLES"
Taking them one by one, Race: We all know that all of us right from day 1 of our school have been taught to perform best and this indirectly means, we have to outperform others amongst us, which is nothing but a Race. We grow up, surroundings change, but what seemed an indirect Race then, now becomes evident and comes right on our face. Race is everywhere, to get the best marks, to top your class, to get the best pay package, to get best position in the company, to get the best lifestyle for ourselves and ultimately to achieve all this, to get the best Opportunity.
The last word takes us to the next point in line which is Opportunity. What do we mean when we speak about opportunities, does it means the chance, the destiny, a luck, an option or what ? Is it just left to destiny to decide what we want, or is it more than that? I believe it is more about self-awareness, more about seeing things that are hidden. Great Men said, opportunities are not given they are taken, they are created. So, Life is also about seeking those hidden things called as opportunities which help us to win the Race.
But as Human we are, we tend to be emotional at times in our way to be the best and we do have some people in our lives who encourage us not to lose hope and enthusiasm because they care for us and they Love us. Yes, they Love us, so Love also forms an important ingredient in our lives. Without it, we would not be able to live in this race as what happens because of their love, we start living in a symbiotic relationship and to reciprocate to their Love, we perform better and better which sub-consciously helps us win the Race.
The combination of all last 2 points is nothing but an excellent feeling of mixed emotions. To live in the Race, to seek the best opportunity and to be loved by our beloved ones, we experience mixed emotions at different times, we feel cheated & ditched at times and on the other hand we feel lucky to have our beloved ones around. So, all this is an Experience of a Lifetime, i mean we live 2 different lives at the same time, we experience contrast feelings, emotions at the same time and if you ask me what do you get if you do not win the Race, then my answer would be this Experience. Apart from winning or loosing the Race, what comes as a freebie to us as a participant of this Race is this Experience which helps to be better performer each day, which helps us to change our strategy to win the race, which helps us to learn from our mistakes. So, winning the Race is not the only aim, but to live the Race and taking that experience as a lesson learned should be the aim.
Lastly but our aim, our target, our sole reason to be in the Race, is the Success. We participate to win, we participate to out perform others. A typical Race has only one winner, but in case of Race of Life, we all have different meanings of Success. Success here becomes Subjective as against the objective definition in a typical race. But, a subjective view is not limited to oneself, there are others who might have same meaning of Success and when you are in a Race, you are competing with them and not the rest of world. What i mean to say is that, very often, we loose our sight of target because we tend to shift our focus from our actual target to something else as we see others in that race which is the rest of the world and not our true competitors. So, our aim should be focused on our actual target and this thin line of difference in perceiving our target decides the winner in the race. 99% of participants fail as they loose their sight of target. Now, it is upon our conscious efforts to decide where we want to be?

So, it all ultimately boils down to your attitude, your way of perceiving situations in life, your way to perform the best in the Race by seeking Opportunities, getting true Love and Experiencing contrast emotions while achieving Success in all ROLES you play in your Life !!!

Luck favours the Brave

Ohh My God, this has been one heaven of a journey to enter into Welingkar and then to celebrate it.
First and foremost I would like to thank Siddharth for all that he did during this entire madness trip. I mean it would not have been possible for me even to think of going to Pune at 1.30 am if it had not been for you. Those calls which v made to each other before i left and ur encouraging words about taking the train right away, really made the difference. That masala Chai at 2 am and a round around the super-duper Magarpatta city were the best things to experience after that tiring journey of 3.5 hours.
Then the best time of my life begins, we wake up at 6.15 and after having a bath and all that we leave for Pune University's PUMBA College. We left at 7.15 and reached there at around 8.10 and we see whole lot of crowd standing there outside the PUMBA College. The count of parents was almost double the count of candidates eligible. At 8.45 am the ppl were called in and thankfully no parents allowed inside. As per the first set of ppl to be called in i was the 8th one in the merit order (my actual rank was 117 but 109 ppl ahead of me did not turn up, after reading this, few of you must have exclaimed "OMG"), Well hold on your breadth the best is yet to come, now there were 4 seats in sydenham PG, 2 seats in welingkar and 1 in KJ Somaiya. While the admin staff there was busy trying to figure out how the sysyem works, first set of ppl gt chnace to discuss. N guess what, 2 out of tht 7 did nt knw JB has no seats and so there were nt eventually interested in the seats i was contending for, so i was assured tht i wud get in one of three anyways, but i wanted welingkar over the other 2. Now the main battle begins, one guy ahead of me wanted welingkar and so 1 seat and i was calmed, But there was one this wierd guy who also said that he wont take any college apart fm JB, apparently pretending to be one of those two i said earlier. But, when his turn came he took welingkar n then i was like wht the hell, n so as per the calculations i cud see wel go away frm my hand. Now the God has his role play in this drama, somehow the guy who said he will take welingkar, went to the counter and took Sydenham PG. (That was like something, isn't it?) N finally my turn came i got the last seat in Welingkar !!!
Well, after tht was series of calls and chats with the most wonderful and beautiful ppl i know on Earth. After speaking to Locales, i made calls to US without even bothering wht time it wud b there now. But Ppl were so caring and loving that they took my calls at midnight and having stamina to write 2 blogs and shouting like anything...Thank you all for being so !!!
Then, I went to Lonavla where my batch mates had planned a trip n now since i was the last one to enter the class, i went there. Met them had lunch at 3.30 and then since i cud nt meet Siddharth and Aastha, i went back to Pune and met them at 9. In the mean while Aastha, siddharth n myself were convincing Bala to come Pune so that we can Party harder, bt Bala refused to cme and then he surprises me n aastha as sidd knew he was coming, and oh mann bala, thank you fr being the part of my happiness and then our celebrations which went on till 3 am. Needless to say, everyone was in "High Spirits" with the most hilarious stories and enacted by Bala, his stories of "Crocodile", the act of "highly unstable guy in his building" and "the DX lady Neha" had us in splits. It was one hell of a time mann. At this point, i would just add that Siddharth is really lucky to have the room-mates and cool friends like Pradeep, Mathi and Hitesh, they are just so fun loving and lively folks.
At 3 we finally decide to sleep as bala n me wanted to catch bust to mumbai at 5.30. We woke up at 5.30 and in the cool climate we left frm Pune. Bala was pissed off with the Bus wala as he travelled in the same bus last night and they had put "Har Dil jo Pyaar karega" which bala was upset with and now we were in the same bus and we were watching "Raja Hindustani" and the reacions frm Bala were worth watching, all the way we kept suliking about the movie and everything tht happened in it.
Now, i am back in Mumbai n to become thoda senti n philosophical, i agree with what my friend Manasvi said in one of her post, it had been worst time ever since i took that decision of not filling up gujju quota form, found myself amidst difficult situations where in I had to defend myself in taking this Idealistic Step in the Practical World. I was ya obviously unhappy with the way things went bt never regretted my decision, i decided nt to give up n strted prep fr CAT again. But, nevertheless wht happens, happens for the best and it did. Apart from the strong sense of destiny, will power and as Bala says "Following the ethics n principles", i also personally feel that the kind of appreciation & respect u all give me for whatever i do, makes me just strengthen my beliefs.

But, after this episode of my life, i now knw wht they mean whn they say "Luck Favours the Brave."

Time & Me

Time has its own ways of turning the tables around. Well, i am just experiencing that. Last year same time of the year, i was in No man's Land, had no idea about the future, no idea where i would go, no idea as to what would i do next. But, time changed i got a good job, decided to hang on for a couple of years. I had the best time then from Aug 07 onwards...

Got settled in the job, received appreciations, awards n all that happened. But, then again as it seemed all cool and fine, life took a twist and i had to decide to take up MBA course this year... Having faith in myself, i went for it, did not know what lies ahead for me.

I went with the flow and here i am today no where again, no admit in a good college, and left the job in awe of getting a good admit, so currently all my dreams are on hold, all my aspirations are shattered...So, the same time has come again at the same time of the year, where i stand having no clue of what i will do next and what will happen to me next...

But, as it is said, no pain no gain, i guess this pain is teaching me a lot of important lessons in life. Firstly, i am understanding the true meaning of patience. Secondly, i m realizing what Courage means. And most importantly, i am finding how priceless are ones Principles to oneself and thus making me realize that why do some lucky people sacrifice their life for their Principles. I salute them all.

Having said that, I am neither broken nor I am gonna QUIT, i would rise again and would be back (as Ms. JK says), i will be back with a Bang !!!!

Living or Surviving ???

The other day i had been to Girgaum Chowpatty Beach with one of my friends, and i had been to this place after long gap of time (i can say after almost a decade). When i was a kid, i used to spend each of my sunday evenings there playing with the sand or sometimes cricket or sometimes a ride on a horse etc.. It just made me nostalgic to see that place and seeing small children play the same way i used to..
While i was talking to my friend about my childhood, i realised i could no longer do all that what i used to do, simply because i have grown up. I know that the reason i say sounds a bit funny or wierd but its true. I mean, what things that we did in our childhood can also be done by us today without any hesitation. The moment we think of doing something similar, the second thought is that "Its Childish to do that" !!! We think we have grown up for the better of ourselves, but is it really so?
In our process to grow up, we have lost our innocence, we have lost our honesty, we have lost that cute smile on our faces that brought joy to our homes. But what on the other hand, we have learned how to survive in this world, yeah we have just learned or are just learning to survive but we are not learning the important lesson of How to Live. To Live is to to be happy and share happiness (do we do the later part?), To live is to think how a particular thing will benifit all of us and not me alone (how far do we think this way?)
( Charles Darwin, when invented the theory "Survival of the fittest" did not intend to use it with respect to intra-human species, but i guess we humans have taken in too personally to apply it amongst ourselves and in process we are just deteriorating ourselves. )
Coming back to the ground reality, it is not any one of us to be blamed for what we are today because what ever we are, its because of the need of the situations, its becasue that our motive of Life is changing, the smile on our family's faces which came every morning when we woke up, now comes on their face every month end when we get our salaries or (not to sound harsh), it comes now when we do something big or achieve some thing big, without knowing how did we do this? (I mean who in this world now cares about the reasons of the success, we just see and realise what matters to us and thats the end-result thts it).
What i am trying to say is that we cannot change how others live but if at some point in time if we realize that we are not living but just surviving and if we also realize that living is better than surviving then we should start to practice it right away and that can be done simply by sharing 30 paise when you have 1 rupee. We are still Humans and we can still make this world a better to Live in !!!

An Ode to MIEL – ISTI

It was my last day @ work yesterday in MIEL and in all senses i believed i had a great learning experience to have worked with wonderful people around and just to write down what it felt like after working there, i have written an Ode to it which is given below.

My Dept, all the Instructors and above all my Boss played a huge role in whatever i have learned and achieved in MIEL-ISTI. And when i am successful tomorrow; the work, the people and the environment in MIEL will play a definite role.

Apart from my team, my boss and all support staff, there is one person who has made me realize my weaknesses and helped me to overcome them. I would say that if it had not been for Ms. JALPA KOTHARI, the journey would not have been sweeter and better, she was like a mirror to me in which i could see where i am lacking in, she was a true critic who criticized when i was wrong but also appreciated my efforts and felt proud when i did something big !!!

So three cheers to you my dear friend Ms. Jalpa Kothari (I will seperate poem for you) !!!

So, here goes my Ode to MIEL - ISTI

An Ode to MIEL – ISTI

What would a person ask for at the start of his career?
A good Organization, a better team and the Best Boss!!!

Well, am I expecting too much too early? Or is it sounding imaginary to you?
However, fictitious it may sound to you, its true for me as I have got all this right here
in MIEL,
in ISTI
& working
with Ms. Pushpa Redkar

A sales team like a family;
Having members only 3
But, on that, we had no worries
As we were determined to widen our boundaries
And in literal sense we did
When we launched trainings in Pune, Bangalore, Chennai and Ahmedabad

We kept working day In and out
Rarely saw sunset
And rarely knew when moon came out
But that were no issues on it neither was it a big deal for us
As just positive energy was running across us

We had many roles to play at one time
But to do them perfectly was the motive prime
We switched roles; shared responsibilities
But multiplied our joy and success
Always kept a cool head
And worked like 1 thread

No expectations, no boundaries, no limits
We kept cruising at top speed
Managing 3 trainings in a day
We felt the heat of May
But, with an Excellent support from all Instructors and Admin
We certainly knew what we were in

We kept performing quantitatively
And were also upfront qualitatively
Records, Expense Sheet, Material Register, Training Centre Occupancy
You name it, we had it
And to make us happy and to make our day
Appreciation Mails, Awards and Respect came our way
It was amazing to be a part of this journey
Which proved to be an important chapter in the book of MIEL – ISTI

Now, the MIEL - ISTI family has grown to 5 from 3
And with it has come even bigger responsibility
Not just to maintain what we have done so far
But to surpass what we have achieved so far
Having full confidence in the entire team
I wish them all the best in all their endeavors to achieve their dream

The only regret I have currently
Is that I would no longer be a part of MIEL & Especially ISTI Family

MIEL Communication Meet 2008-09

The best pic so far in my tenure at my company "MIEL e-Security Pvt. Ltd.". More than the awards been given at the Communication Meet, it was the efforts in the entire year that has got those big smiles in the pic above. I mean, it was a complete "Hats-off" performance shown by ISTI division (the dept i work in) in 2007-08. Not only did we perform with the numbers but also, we developed the processes and put various systems in place. So, it was not only quantitative but also qualitative performance by the team in the year 2007-08.

Much credit obviously goes to Ms. Pushpa Redkar (centre in the pic) as without her innovative ways of thinking, her way of giving us (Smeet sir (left in the pic) & me) freedom to do things our way with apt support, this would not have been possible.

Without saying much (as i will write one more blog after i resign on 17th June 2008), i would conclude by saying that, there could not be a better way than this for me to start my professional career, as i got appreciation, awards and over-all good feedback by working here in MIEL. Not everyone is blessed and as lucky as I am to have got this opportunity to have worked under ISTI Team of MIEL e-Security Pvt. Ltd. and that to be a part of successful team under aegis of a wonderful people around....

Take care and keep smiling !!!

Off the Past !!!

There has been many a times, i wish i could do this or i could do that, but apart from just moaning over it, i could not do anything else. The reasons for it were either it was too late to do those things or i did not have time/money then to follow what i wish to do because i had things on the list that i need to do. So, need took priority over wishes.
Few things, i wish i could learn earlier in my life were swimming, travelling to places, learning some musical instrument and to have much more social and healthy routine in my life...
Its just at this time, i realize that how important it is, to have an environment around you where in you can grow with the world around. The sole reason why i missed out on learning those things was mainly due to absence of such receptive & open envirnoment around me during my childhood. I mean i got to know importance or to say passion of learning those things when i started interacting with the world around me, when i gave myself to the people around me, to my friends, colleagues et al.. Today when i see my nephews and nieces involving themselves in gamut of activities, i feel a bit jealous as to the fact of me being unlucky to be deprived of those things in my childhood days. But, on the other hand, i feel proud of cousins who are on the right path to educate their children not only academically but also non-academically (music, dance, games/dance etc.).
Talking about the receptive & open environment, i feel there was more need to be open to challenges, seeking out opportunities, learning new things around and better finacial planning by my parents in their task of letting me grow in a way world wants all of us today. Only academics was given importance when it came to determine how good i would be in future.. I mean i had no connection whatsoever with the school sport activities (though there were few of them), no connection with any social club till date, no favourite sport till 12th std. , no favourite singer or musical instrument i knew to play (then and now).
Despite having said that and looking that situation ain a positive manner, i do not regret to be in such an environment, because i got an opportunity to explore the world, the opportunities around first hand. As we say, life is a challenge, and for me the challenge was to come out of that shell and open up to the world. And i am happy not only to have done that but also been part of all those activities that ensured personal growth in some way or the other.
Just to give an example, A guy from my engg class once looked at my resume and asked "Have you mentioned any non-academic achievements from your school days in the resume?". I replied "I dont have any". He then said "You have wasted your 16 years then just studying !!!". I was silent. Then, he flipped the page to read my non-academic achievements in engg. college and he commented "how the hell did you get so much under your belt in 3.5 years? ", I proudly replied "It was in the process to make up for those lost 16 years".

What i mean to say is that there was lot of emphasis on studies earlier, but time has come to shift a bit of focus to extra-curricular activities as well. Had i been able to do few of those acts earlier, i could have been enjoying life a bit better. But, theres no regret as its better late than never.

Though I believe that learning something first hand is always better than otherwise. But that does not mean that every child should face what i did because all can not be as lucky as i was (and am) to get to meet those people who helped me in coming out of that shell !!!